Stars, Stripes, and Maple Leaves
by Buttshujinsama
Summary: CanAmer drabble. Pre-relationship thoughts.


Shonen-ai, kids. Boy Love. Also, incest between countries. Those are your warnings.

Anyway, I got into this pairing and couldn't help writing this. TADAAAA

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><p>Matt.<p>

You kind of haunt me.

I know there's no way you feel the same. It's kind of sad, how the hero's maiden just resents the hero for being noticeable. It hurts.

But the pain kind of fades when I realize how much I love you.

I don't know exactly why, but you just turn me into Jell-O when your shy smile pops out. Especially when it's me that brings it out. I love making you laugh, and that's why I act so stupid half the time.

You've always been kinda sneaky with your paybacks and pranks. I'm good at that stuff, but you're pretty much the Da Vinci of getting what you want without anyone knowing it. I remember how, back when we were both colonies, you'd send Kookamunga to knock over the cookie jar whenever I did something mean. And I guess your knack for invisibility helped when you were scaring the crap out of me at night, making ghost noises.

But you were always there for me, too. Nobody else is ever there for me (probably my fault, self-proclaimed hero doesn't need a hero), but every time I was sad, scared, hurt, or worried, you would sit there and hold me until I was done being "wussy" and got back up to try again. I especially remember that one time you accidentally knocked over that mega-priceless family heirloom vase thing England kept in the sitting room. He was chewing you out for it, gettin' ready to pull out the belt, when I stepped in and told him I'd done it. I must have been convincing, because damn, that hurt. Later on, after I'd been sent to bed without dinner, you sneaked me some food you'd saved and hugged me. It was all I needed to drift off soundly that night with a smile on my face.

I love the way we have such an open border. I still come to you when I'm scared, hurt, worried, or whatever. You have no problem talking to me about anything. We watch hockey, go camping, play Halo, sometimes we just hang out and do nothing for the hell of it. Must be geography.

We're so close.

But I want to be closer, because I love you, Matt. I love you with everything I've got. The only thing I really want is to share everything I have and everything I am with you.

Even though you'll never know, I've given you my heart. I don't expect anything back and I'm fine with you keeping it. I can only hope you don't break it too bad. Despite everything, it actually breaks pretty easily, but you're good at not breaking things. I trust you. I'd trust you with anything.

Even though that one tiny hope I keep, the hope that someday you'll feel the same about me, gets smaller every day, I can't stop myself from being completely yours. Nobody else will ever really have the kind of power you hold over me. Nobody else can get me to do the kinds of things I do for you.

Matt, I love you.

And this is the one pain I can't ask you to soothe.

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><p>There's only one secret I've ever kept from you, Alfred. You see, the reason I didn't completely break down when England took me from France was you.<p>

You and I have been companions ever since... well, forever, I guess. I can barely remember the days before I was a colony (culture shock, I suppose), but I remembered you. I remembered your warm, smiling face and rambunctious attitude and that's why I wanted to run to you as soon as I got to England's house.

The one thing that stopped me from leaping into your arms were the words, "Meet your brother."

Brother.

That's what stopped me.

You jumped up and hugged me anyway. I saw that spark of recognition in your eyes, and, for a few minutes, all we did was just stand there and hug. I think that did more for me than just about anything England did for the next few weeks to try and get me used to living with him.

I've always loved... snuggling with you, I guess. It makes sense, doesn't it? Geographically, we're connected, so we should be physically connected, too. It's comforting. When you and I are close together, so close that there's no room left to breathe, everything is right in the world. I can relax and feel completely safe.

I've always felt your pain, emotional and physical. I never wanted to see you hurt, so I try to comfort you as best as I can. I hope it's enough.

Despite the endless jokes about you that run rampant around Europe, you actually are a hero. Ever since I can remember, you've been standing up for me, protecting me, making sure I got out OK. Sure, you've hurt me a few times. That's normal. We're brothers. We hurt each other, we get over it, we bury the past underneath the present. Because we're more important to each other than a stupid fight.

You're very important to me, Al.

If I knew you wouldn't be freaked out, I'd probably kiss the stuffing out of you. You probably don't want me to, since we're brothers and all, but I can't help wanting to anyway.

I belong with you. There's no way around it, is there? I belong by your side. Even if you stay as my brother and nothing more, I will stick with you forever. I mean that, Al.

But I'll always want to be more than your brother.

I'll always want you to be my hero. Not just THE hero, but MY hero. Mine.

Of course, I can't tell you all of this because you'd be creeped out and then you'd start avoiding me. I wouldn't be able to stand that, so I'm not telling.

That doesn't change the fact that I desperately want to.

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><p>There it is. Like it, love it, hate it? Leave a comment!<p> 


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